Thursday, May 22, 2014

Motherhood, The Wondrous, The Trying, and The Truth In Between


While having a conversation recently, someone said to me, “isn’t it interesting how people congratulate a pregnant woman first and foremost before asking her how she’s really feeling about the whole life change she’s going through. The self doubts, the fears, the anxiety and lastly, the farewell to the person she was before she was pregnant.” Pregnancy changes your perspective on things completely and while society chooses to celebrate this wonderful landmark, they seem to ignore the complete truth that many women truly feel fear and anxiety. It would be refreshing if more people spoke up about both the amazing and the challenging parts of pregnancy and motherhood. Furthermore, motherhood is one of the most difficult experiences in a woman’s life. After my son was born, I found that I was constantly worrying about my child, my home, our dog, my career, the choice I made to stay at home, my relationship with my husband and if my existing friendships would last. These matters were on my mind, but I barely had a moment to really process what I was feeling because I was so busy and overwhelmed. Being a new parent brings on lack of sleep which only exacerbates these issues. You barely get a moment to fulfill basic needs, like bathing, eating and using the bathroom. I know that I am not alone in how much my priorities changed and that these struggles are very true and real for so many women. Since society sugarcoats the parenting experience it may leave a lot of moms feeling alone in their struggle that motherhood is not only filled with exciting baby milestones and laughter, it is filled with some pain, frustration, worry and uncertainty. Some mothers I have spoken to say, “some days I have to remind myself that this is what I wanted so badly and anticipated for 9 months.” If you feel this way it does not make you a bad mom, it makes you human. There are ups and downs to every experience and motherhood is not an exception. The truth is that once the beginning phase of infancy passes, it does get slightly easier. Perhaps it’s because the child’s personality really starts to blossom at this point, or simply because the mother gets used to balancing her child’s needs along with her own. There is no other achievement in the world that surpasses the moment your child first smiles at you or truly starts to become aware that you’re one of the most important people in their lives. I now see how my son looks to me for reassurance, love and care and I know it has all been worth it because of this. 

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